Thank God, it's over.

my personal favorite holiday greeting by tina the seamonster


Christmas. You completely kicked my ass this year. You weren't supposed to do that! Aren't you even familiar with your own adjectives??? Just to remind you, "joy" and "peace" are often used in conjunction with you. I swear! Look at any greeting card section and I guarantee you'll find copious amounts of those two words. You didn't render either of those for me this year! What's up with that?? (although you did render not one, but two 2009 calendars from some artists I adore! I'll admit, that was decent of you.) But let's get real for a second, when the highlight of your Christmas is calendars?!?! Surely you'll agree that there should be more to Christmas then calendar appreciation. So let's work on that next year. I'll try to remember that I don't have superhuman powers and that I'm not capable of 50,000 mind numbing tasks (alright, it wasn't quite that many. but still!) and you just try to not to be such an overbearing, life sucking force of nature. Deal?? We'll see...

The Letting Go

So...I'm pretty much failing miserably at my desire to keep you all regularly updated. I felt so on top of things about two weeks back. Energized and motivated! Ready for the holidays. Lots of things to share here. However, I didn't anticipate being sick, not only over Thanksgiving, but also for the start of Advent. It has almost taken the wind out of my sails... almost. I'm quite idealistic (it's a core flaw I'm afraid) and get pretty bummed out when things don't go as I plan for them too. And I had really lovely plans! So letting them go has been a bit of a challenge. But something happened in the letting go process. Something that I didn't expect, but something that I am deeply grateful for. That something, is nothing. All my plans ceased to materialize. Crafts went undone, many decorations are still sitting in boxes (although thanks to the h, lights did make it up), goodies went unbaked, the fridge has been emptied, stories unread. And for the big "what was I thinking???" moment, I discovered that storing your Advent candles in the attic (which yes, is cool in December, not so much in July..) is not a good call. Our candles were hard, wonky, globs of wax, so we weren't even able to light our first candle on Sunday. And yet, it was all quite serendipitous. Usually I would be having mild anxiety attacks, but instead, all the time that went unused, was replaced with a quiet peace. I plan all these activities as a way to connect with the meaning of the season, but nothing has brought me more closeness then this time I've had to sit in stillness and contemplation. A Lutheran pastor I know from San Francisco (via the internet) posted this article she had wrote for her church newsletter a few years back. Every year something reminds me to read it again.

A Merry Christmas to you all!

This year for Christmas I thought long and hard about what to send friends and family. Most of our friends are living in big cities or are just starting out which means that they have no space. Many of our relatives who are amply housed are starting to consider downsizing. As I looked in shops and catalogues I couldn’t help but have the nagging feeling that more stuff was the last thing anyone we knew really needed. I joked to my husband that maybe what we should really give everyone this year is an empty paper bag with the instructions: “You are given permission to fill this bag with stuff and take it to Goodwill. Merry Christmas.” What a gift that would be!

The gift of emptiness really is a gift. It just sometimes takes a second thought to figure that out. In Luke’s Gospel Mary the mother of Jesus meets her aunt Elizabeth. They are both pregnant and filled with joy about their coming babies. Mary sings a song we famously know as the Magnificat. In her song she sings praise for all God does, “Putting down the mighty, lifting up the lowly, filling the hungry with wonderful things, and sending the rich away empty.” (Luke 1: 51-53) Often this song is interpreted as a gift to the poor and lowly while punishing the rich and powerful. I wonder if instead it was meant as a gift to everyone.

Those who are hungry in Mary’s song have a physical need that needs filling. Good food, safe housing, opportunity for education, affordable health care. Those who are rich have needs too. Even though glossy magazines and TV commercials say the rich need more stuff, maybe what the rich need is more emptiness. Maybe what the rich really need is more space for the Christ Child to come and fill.

I have to admit, I wasn’t brave enough to give my friends and family empty paper bags for Christmas this year. I send them fairly traded chocolate instead. I kept the empty paper bags for myself and filled them up. A bag of old but usable socks to the shelter, a bag of cans to the food panty, a bag of appliances to Goodwill. Taking them away put me in contact with those who are poor and lowly. It made me care more about how many kids are at the shelter (40 a night lately) or how much food donations have gone down (9%) while need has gone up. Part of our call as Christians is to fill such need and to make Mary’s promise a reality. And I have to say, the emptiness in my closet, my cupboard, and in my basement feels good too.

There are twelve days of Christmas. This year I pray that this Christmas season will be filled both with “wonderful things” or “emptiness.” I pray Mary’s song will be lived in your life.

While my issue wasn't so much about stuff and things (although it could easily be...) it was still about creating space in my heart to reflect on the love of God's incarnation and to stand in awe of what is still to come. I needed all those ideals to be stripped away, and upon reflection, I can say what I am most thankful for this year were those days sick on the couch that gave me the opportunity to let go.

..sick..tired..

the end.

humoring the grandparents :: snapshots of the tot

:: rain gear ::

:: medusa? ::


:: rehearsal ::

:: awe ::

:: bliss ::

:: eye spy ::

you'd think i have too much time on my hands.

Yes my friends, that would be a homemade marshmallow in the shape of a wonky acorn. (cause I'm sure that was your first guess, right?) Yes... it's the sort of thing you decide to tackle after making promises to your child (the same child that has the memory of an elephant) while distracted by some incredible photostreams on flickr...oops...

After a quick google search I decided on this recipe because it's the only one that didn't require a candy thermometer. (I believe candy thermometers are evil stress inducing devices and avoid them at almost any cost...)


I decided to forgo the corn syrup and ended up substituting it for brown rice syrup. I combined that with the sugar and water and let it come to a boil on the stove while the gelatin and water mingled in the mixer. The tot was ever so helpful in giving me the moment by moment "bubble status" updates.

When the syrup had "boiled hard" for one minute, we poured it into the mixer, added the salt, and started beating the mixture on high.

You'll have some time to kill (approximately 12 minutes.) It's a good time to break for smooches and silly faces.

Once the mixture had developed into fluff, we added our vanilla extract, gave the mixture another minute in the mixer to combine it all, and then scooped it out onto a baking dish that had been covered with plastic wrap and lightly oiled. We covered the top with an oiled layer of plastic wrap as well to seal out the air. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP! If you do, all of your previous work will have been in vein. Let the glob of syrup and gelatin set up for a few hours. Once it has, you can either take the whole thing out and cut it up into squares, or you can do what we did and use little cookie cutters to stamp out various shapes. We chose leaves and acorns in the spirit of the season. In a separate bowl, we mixed together equal parts of cornstarch and powdered sugar and then individually powder the marshmallows. And.....

Voilà!

mmmmmmmm.......

...ten things making me smile...

..1.. a recipe for the perfect halloween

you'll need:

-warm soup
-hot bread
-good beer
-glowing squash
-candy, to taste
-a smoky fire
-good conversation
-and of course silly, excited children

combine and simmer.

..2.. our president-elect. i am honored to have to voted in this historic election. to all the women who went before me, who fought for my rights and my voice, i thank you. to all the civil rights workers who labored, toiled, and died to make this day possible, i am humbled by my small participation. the gravity of this moment is not lost on me.

..3.. birthday love. thank you to all who made my day so special!




..4.. some of my new favorite goodies found here and here and here.

..5.. my first go at making a scarecrow. the tot named him "farmer zuckerman" from charlottes web. :)



..6.. general tao's tofu. mmmmmmmmm.... we substituted the tofu for morning star chik'n (the h was a little scared of the hard stuff) and it was great!

the tot was determined to use chopsticks. let's hear it for ingenuity!



..7.. one of my very favorite sites...




..8.. the gift of stillness. (thank you once again jen!)

..9.. the gift of inspiration.



..10.. a justified fire...

....P..S..A....

Brilliant artwork by Nikki McClure. You can purchase some of her work here.

Find your polling place, and go VOTE!

small things...

One of my very favorite bloggers and huge source of daily inspiration, Soule Mama, has launched a new project combining three of my most favorite topics:

-mamahood
-craft
-and social justice

Mama to Mama is "A website, gathering place and hopefully source of inspiration and action." The first bit of action is for a Maine-based partnership, Konbit Sante. They are assembling safe birthing kits for the women of Haiti (find some statistics on Haitian health care here.) and all you crafty mamas out there can be a part! The request is for handmade, newborn baby caps. Soule Mama has included a simple pattern in this post to help get you started.

I am constantly amazed that it's the relatively small things we do, that ultimately speak volumes. Mother Theresa is quoted as saying, "What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do. The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”


Deadline for submissions is December 10th, 2008.

Happy Halloween!

...and just in case you're looking for a last minute Halloween craft, head over to whip up for this little guy. ;)

Halloween at Common Grounds

We had our annual Halloween block party at Common Grounds a few days ago. One of the reasons we host the event (aside from the fact that it's just fun to hang out together!) is that the neighborhood kids don't go out trick-or-treating. It's not safe to do so in the neighborhood. I love that this silly little carnival creates a space for our kids to engage, for a moment, in childhood. There is something utterly profound in the simplicity of a ring toss game, face painting, and of course the dispersement of treats. It's being smack dab in the middle of love in action. It's watching those stubborn walls that divide class, race, and status be chipped away and destroyed. It's witnessing joy.







Lomax and his goosebumps...


Mr.Kevin quietly observing.


Momma T absorbed in a sweet moment.


Yasmin and sister. They love it when I bring the camera out. They set up mini shoots where I am instructed to take picture after picture, until they finally decide I have taken a worthy shot.





The tot, getting in on the action too!


Joy.


Simple pleasures.

a little slice of heaven

It's hard for me to appreciate the charm of the Louisiana landscape. It just doesn't tend to resonate much with me. True, bayous and cypress trees have their own unique beauty, but I would much rather spend my day getting lost in woods atop some majestic mountain, or digging my toes into cold sand and listening to the waves crash.

Last week, Ms.Q and I, along with a sweet friend and her little one, set out on an adventure to go visit a state park in our area. However, the day we went the park happened to be closed, so we decided (okay, I mostly decided, and my poor friend reluctantly went along with me...) to give the kids their first lesson in trespassing and "ninja stealth". Ms.Q did her best, but she wanted so badly to collect treasures in her little tin pail. Of course each treasure that was dropped into the pail made a "kur-plunk" sound that echoed, loudly, in the otherwise stillness of the woods. We decided after a bit that maybe trespassing wasn't such a great idea after all, as we couldn't fully explore the park. That maybe we should come back on another day and try again.

My parents happened to be arriving in town later that evening, and it didn't take much to talk them into returning with me the next day. This time we were all able to fully engage, and my goodness, what a gem!






The rangers station was loaded with goodies. Some wildlife to observe, a microscope to check out mushrooms and leaves up close, a table full of bones, petrified wood, antlers, snake skin, and all under a sign reading, "Please Touch". It was delightful! And walking through those woods was just what I needed to connect with this place. I wish I had pictures. Of course just as we headed outside, the batteries on my camera died. But I am smitten! I will we back. Weekly. And most likely you'll be seeing quite a bit of this place via the web.

..autumn welcome..

October

AY, thou art welcome, heaven's delicious breath! When woods begin to wear the crimson leaf,
And suns grow meek, and the meek suns grow brief
And the year smiles as it draws near its death. Wind of the sunny south! oh, still delay
In the gay woods and in the golden air,
Like to a good old age released from care,
Journeying, in long serenity, away.
In such a bright, late quiet, would that I
Might wear out life like thee, 'mid bowers and brooks
And dearer yet, the sunshine of kind looks,
And music of kind voices ever nigh;
And when my last sand twinkled in the glass,
Pass silently from men, as thou dost pass.

-William Cullen Bryant

my first precious taste of things to come...



bursting bits of gold...



everyday beauty.

Singin' a sweet song...

Music is an intregal part of our day. Feeling down? Then the obvious choice for tunes is Sufjan Stevens, Songs for Christmas. (For some odd reason, no other song warms my heart quite as much as this one. I don't care if it's 102 degrees in the middle of August.) Feeling analytical? Bob Dylan. Feisty? Ani DiFranco. In the mood for a dance party? Well, that could go a few ways. Arcade Fire, Feist, and Dan Zanes seem to be in heavy rotation. I have songs that I must hear while doing specific chores. The tot falls asleep listening to Pooh Corner, nightly.

In the brilliant words of Friedrich Nietzsche, "Without music life would be a mistake." Indeed.

Last December, I treated myself to an album composed by a friend from Washington, Karli Fairbanks. I picked up the package at our mailbox down the road, and the CD immediately went into the car disk changer. It has stayed in slot number three for almost a year now. I listen to it daily. I kid you not! Sometimes I even crave it more then NPR's, Morning Edition. The tot now requests "Tie Me Up", and "Whiskey Flowers" more often then any Elizabeth Mitchell or Raffi song. We are smitten! And also apparently, inspired. Recently, the tot has begun to "write" music. Somewhere she picked up the concept of music notes, and has been doing her own bit of composing, if you will. After she carefully constructs her music sheets, she then sits down at her tiny piano, pounds away at the keys, and sweetly sings her creations (which have managed to coalesce with many of Karli's songs, by the way.)

At times, our mutual love for music powerfully binds us in a place beyond mother and babe, where a small child and an adult can exist for a time as friends, harmonizing and dancing together on this journey through life.

oh crap! what have i gotten myself into this time?

where to begin...

so i show up at the meeting for BOLD, prepared to offer my services for tasks that i'm actually good at. secure sponsors for the event? sure! contact caterers? definitely! order the wine? please! hang up posters around town? piece of cake! what i didn't expect, was to find out that 2/3 of the cast has quit for various reasons and that they were desperate to find replacements. in an obvious moment of insanity, i offered to pick up a role. *gulp* i am now performing. yes my friends, i will be acting out another women's birth story in front of an audience! i will be moaning and cursing! i will be spread eagle (clothed of course!) pretending to give birth! did i mention i'm doing this in front of people??? what on earth was i thinking? i am NOT a thespian. and while i am not shy when it comes to the human body, i can just picture myself nervously giggling through my scenes. lord please help me to maintain my composure! i just need to remember i am doing this for a good reason. i am doing this for the women of louisiana who have limited (and by limited i mean zero) options when it comes to childbirth.

my first practice is today. i've read over the script. i'm not sure which character i'm leaning towards yet. (i have a few options.) when i find out more details i'll fill you in. until then, wish me luck, or broken bones, or whatever it is you're suppose to do in the theater.

and then life happens...

gosh! i didn't realize i'd be so horrible at keeping this thing up straight out the gate! maybe i started at the wrong time? life seems to have gotten ahold of me and i just haven't found the time to be online for much of anything! not even for myspace! (and you know it's bad when i don't even have 5 minutes to spare for myspace!) so, with that said, count on this, there will be posts which contain actual substance coming to you this week! the tot is managing school beyond well (mama is just hanging in there i'm afraid :( *sniff, sniff*) and we have survived our first hurricane. ole' gus ain't gonna get the best of me!

so, i'm off to do a few things around the house before sitting down to dinner with my family and then heading off to a meeting for shreveport's first ever presentation of BOLD. (the vagina monologues of childbirth.) i am thrilled to be part of the committee this year! more details to come...

peace be with you all!

hello and welcome!

it's safe to say this web journal is "under construction", but i am planning an actual post soonish! i am beyond excited to enter into the world of blogging again, so please check back.